Nerves

A thunder storm is the only thing keeping me inside right now, instead of getting one more mile in so I could hit 100mi for the month. I'll be content with 99.1...
I basically ran all negative splits today for 4x4/200 intervals. My second 400 and third 200 were up one second. The last 400 and all the 200s were done on the local track. The school wasn’t using it, and I found the way in. So I did the Start-circle-Start-circle thing for the first time in 11 years or so. All my times were lower than expected. Because I felt they could have been even lower, I need to decide how fast I’d like to run my 5k this weekend. Last time I wanted under 25:30, and I’m not sure if shooting for 24:00 is unreasonable?

Our A league team has one game left on the schedule. And we can’t finish any lower than first place. We beat the second place team yesterday, and it felt good after we lost to them the first time we played. It would actually mean something if we got the next fall league free for winning this spring league, which happens some places. But not here.

More baby classes this week. At work this morning I got very anxious, almost like a panic attack, because I’m not sure our house is ready. I’ve got to finish a couple projects and would like a new kitchen, and I wanted to leave work to get these things done. About five minutes later, I realized this is my way of being nervous. Mostly your typical Provider type concerns scattering throughout my head. And it’s all irrational thinking, because I know I’ll be a good dad. I’ve been preparing for this since mine walked out, and I picked up his racquetball racquet and thought “I need to learn this game to be the man of the house.” I was six.

It’s our second anniversary, our last without kids running about, and I’m watching hockey, and my wife is doing homework, both listening to thunder. Party animals I tell ya.

I still have the racquet.